Necessity is the mother of invention. The father is unknown.
The following patent was issued by the US Patent and Trademark Office on October 10, 2006.

Religious Lamp with Fluid Flow

patent#: US 7118242

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filed under Made Fun
view the full patent  | comments (10)
posted on 6/5/2007, patent issued on 10/10/2006

Jesus said in the book of John, "I am the light of the world." Now have him light up your living room!

But of course, a light up Jesus would seem too simple to be patentable. But what if we add a little animatronics? According to the patent, "Jesus' head rises with light actuation." That's right, wake him up right at his most painful moment.

But the spiritual uplift doesn't end there. The inventor threw in some dripping blood pumps for that I-can't-believe-how-much-this-guy-suffered-for-me effect.

Mel Gibson, why hast thou not pursued the merchandising tie-in?

Religious Lamp with Fluid Flow

Comments on Religious Lamp with Fluid Flow

stanley | Dec 2, 2007 9:02 PM
Hey!! Obey Your Religious Lamp.

angry penguind | Oct 31, 2006 3:01 AM
I LOVE this - if you have faith and beleive that the Bible is the undiluted word of God then the obvious thing to do is to make an action toy saviour re-living his worst moments on earth, illuminated into the bargain. Light my living room or hallway why not? I'm so special I have my own personal Passion lamp lighting up a room in my house. Anyone who wants one of these is not only guilty of stupidity they are also guilty of hubris as well - regardless of whether you are looking at this from a secular perspective or a 'beleiver' perspective. But God what a silly idea I might have to buy one.

techskeptic | Dec 9, 2006 3:01 PM
Hey!!!! HEY!!!! WAKE UUUUUUPPPP!!!!!! I'm tired at looking at this stupid patent. Has there truly been no more stupid patents since this one?

milkshake | Dec 9, 2006 10:01 AM
Mohamad lamp: This kind of stuff has been done. And nobody laughs - Just imagine yourself being roused every morning, by this alarm clock made in Afganistan (please turn the speakers on):

etpilot | Dec 8, 2006 1:00 AM
Just when I thought I knew tacky.....

Maureen | Dec 8, 2006 5:00 AM
All to easy to make fun of Christians isn't it? I'd dare you to make a mohammad lamp, but I'm sure you're afraid to do so. Moreover, those who run this site wouldn't dare publish it. This is an uncreative and lame product of someone with anger issues. Bad experience with a nun?

quidnunct | Dec 7, 2006 5:02 AM
As a Christian, I think that this is just downright weird. Just buy "The Passion of the Christ" if you want to feel the emotion of His death!

Rat | Dec 6, 2006 7:00 PM
> Applicant has found a need for more active displays of Jesus being crucified > upon the cross, which displays attract a person's attention to the display and > thereby evoke the emotions that the display is designed to bring forth. Will the next "more active display" involve animatronic Roman soldiers and tiny nails? THAT would surely attract a person's attention.

B Greenspan | Dec 6, 2006 7:01 AM
Does anyone else find this offensive?

mark | Dec 6, 2006 5:01 AM
Note the section at the very end, where a music box will play "appropriate religious or gospel music," and wheels may be added for "life-size or larger" versions!

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